The guys-only guide to getting over divorce : and on with life, sex, and relationships by Buser Sam J;Sternes Glenn F & Sternes Glenn F

Author:Buser, Sam J;Sternes, Glenn F & Sternes, Glenn F
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Divorce, Divorced men, Divorced men, Divorce, Divorced men, Divorced men
Publisher: Houston, TX : Bayou Pub.
Published: 2009-09-19T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 9

Thinking about Dating 187

Now don’t go to the other extreme and think that we are endorsing a total lack of control either. We are not suggesting that people should be lying around, humping furiously on the carpet and floors, without much regard to who is engaged or what is taking place. Our cultures, and other cultures, have prescribed what is considered appropriate. It’s just that our culture says that the genders can interact with each other in non-sexual ways without a concern of whether there is always the goal of sex when two people meet. Prominent citizens get headlines and are censured when they say differently. Take, for example, a judge who declared that “the woman was asking for it by the way she dressed” and therefore dismissed the charges of rape against a man. Needless to say the judge got in trouble over that ruling. Another example was a politician who glibly declared “If a woman is going to be raped, she might as well lie down and enjoy it.” He then got “raped” at the next election. These kind of comments sound like things fraternity brothers say.

In our culture, we do not go to the extremes of segregating women from men once the girls reach puberty. We do not dress them in shapeless bags and hide their faces. However, we may go to the other extreme, in part, leading to a “look but don’t touch” mentality. And some few persons in our society do not have the cognitive controls to follow this.

Our Houston scuba group gave a whole sex education to a bunch of Jordanian boys. We were the first American group to dive in Jordanian waters. The beaches there were beautiful and only three miles across were the equally fine beaches of Israel, which we visited the next year. The young boys quickly gathered to watch divers returning from the cold waters of the Red Sea and doffing their full wet suits before they got too cold, and then could warm up in the 90+ degree weather. The women were, of course, wearing bikinis, or at least, two-piece suits. The boys had never seen grown females wearing anything except the chalabas, full-length clothing that included a head cover.

Going into town was also a sex education. A woman friend and I had gone into town in Jordan, and she had disregarded my suggestion that she not wear a sleeveless top, but dress more conservatively.

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